Grill me, please!

On Monday night I witnessed something quite eye-opening.

After tea we had our Church DGBs, or ‘Disciple Grow Bands’ (see an old post about this). We get together in these small groups a few times a year, meeting with others in similar situations (single blokes met with single blokes, married women with other married women etc). It’s a great opportunity for heart talk, to get a perspective on life and feel supported by others of one’s own ilk.

This was the first time I’ve led one myself, so I was a little nervous but also inspired. I made a list of eight questions and topics that the seven of us guys could talk about or do. I told them to pick two each. Stuff like:

  • What are you passionate about? What’s your dream? What moves you?
  • Have you ever been frustrated with God?
  • Who would you be without any fears/ self limitations?
  • If you were the devil how would you destroy your faith?
  • Tell us three of your own weaknesses, and we’ll each tell you one of your strengths.
One of the items on the list was a little idea a friend of mine told me. It surprised me how this one turned out.

It’s called ‘Grill a brother’ (not ‘Gorilla Brother’, as I had to point out!) The volunteer sits in the centre, and everyone else takes it in turn to ask one question about them each, anything they like. The candidate has to answer each question, and has to be honest, but he can answer in any way he likes- vaguely or explicitly.

What surprised me was that every guy there volunteered to be grilled. They could have talked about something easier, but instead they all decided to be interrogated, to be honest, whatever was asked of them.

It was pretty no-holds-barred stuff, as questions from all corners dug deeper into motives and some of the guys ended sharing stuff they probably hardly ever talk about. But after the first one sat in the grilling chair, so did the second, so did the third and so on until we all ended up in the hot seat. I wouldn’t say it was trampoline-bouncing fun, but we loved it!

Deep down we all long for reality. Deep down we’re dissatisfied with the pressure to always put on a brave face, to keep up appearances. We all long to be known for who we are, to be able to be ourselves, to be understood and loved and looked out for despite our weaknesses, fears and worries.

Let’s build a culture of trust, of vulnerable strength.


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